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QUICK HITS 2

I have revised this article. The ending bordered too closely upon nerd humor. No offense intended to nerd humor enthusiasts, it's just not my thing.

EXPEDITION TO THE EDGE
If I was ever putting together a mission or expedition, and had to choose office workers to fill the party, I would not pick anyone who has a sweater hanging on their chairs year round. I'm not sure I could count on them when the polar bear / giant squid / pigmy warriors attacks. I would, however, try to find the office where people come to work with spear guns broad swords. I would think they could be trusted in a tight spot.

RAY-GUNS
I heard that the military now has a ray-gun. I'm not sure what it does or how it works. I just know that I like it. Ray-gun. That's solid. And it's about fucking time too. Now lets get working on these items:

Steak dinners in capsule form

Magnetic Boots (or shoes)

TVs in watches

Vacations on the Moon

Bionic Implants

WAR ON LIFE
If I ever declared a war on life, Change would not be first on my list of allies. Stomach Pain and Intensive Research, however, would be high on the list.

TECH GUYS
For all the shit these guys catch from pretty much everyone, for one reason or another, it must be some sort of hell on earth for those guys. Imagine the tech guys at home. They're in their clean room, which is filled with 17 computers, half of which they built by hand. They soldered on graphics chips by hand to their mother board so they could hacked feed from NASA with more clarity.

But, when they come into work the next day they have to answer questions about why someone's speaker volume isn't working or help someone get pictures off of a digital camera. The shear maddening hell it must be for those guys. You poor bastards.

OFFICE FOOD
I currently work in a larger office, that has multiple floors and an intercom. The other day there was an announcement made over the intercom that food was in the kitchen. I immediately sprang from my chair and walked as quickly as I could to the kitchen. Usually there is an email sent out when food is around, so there's a little delay between the placement of the food, and the getting of the food. But, with an intercom announcement, time was most certainly of the essence.

I was the third person to the food. By the time I had filled my little plate up with salad and some yummy bread there were 15-20 people in line. I knew, walking by them, that many would not get any yummy food. Those poor bastards.

WEEK OLD LUNCHMEAT
Usually the deli meats last longer than a week, but not my latest batch (salami, ham, and turkey - a powerhouse combo for sandwiches). The salami I had was fine (of course its a process, not a meat) and lasted for a few weeks longer. The ham and turkey had a layer of slime on them. Not a heavy layer that means they should be thrown away (usually accompanied by a smell), but a thin layer that says CAUTION.

So I exercised caution and put them in the freezer, hoping that one day science will find a cure for them.