generiCtrenD.com - thingS i don'T believE

THINGS I DON'T BELIEVE

FECAL MATTER IS EVERYWHERE
In ice, in bowling balls, on door handles, on hotel remotes, and probably covering your body at this very moment. I hear a lot about fecal matter filling the world and every time someone tells me about it, they start with either They say . . . OR I heard . . .. Really? Really? What, are people wiping their asses with their bare hands? Or are they just dumping freely into ice-bins across the globe? Enough with the fecal matter talk. And quit listening to the fear-mongering news or your idiot friends.

SOME DUDE DRANK A FIFTH OF WHISKEY
And didn't even feel it. OR Someone will say they drank 58 beers and didn't feel it. I hear this every so often, usually from some dude that doesn't have a girlfriend. The people that say this typically give a time frame for the drinking at a generous 90 minutes. Nobody drinks that much and stays out of the hospital, forget about not even feeling it. NO ONE BELIEVES YOU. Stop lying. Try bragging about the girls you didn't have sex with, the great job you don't have, or the cool gun/car/boat you also don't have.

PEOPLE WERE SHORTER X NUMBER OF YEARS AGO
Nah, don't buy it. Maybe like 3000 years ago people on average were a few inches shorter, but not 100 years ago. You will always here the same bit of proof that people were shorter: Look at the stairs and doors in old houses, They're so much shorter than now. Maybe they just built them differently back then. Lets crank out some more research before you start talking, or just don't talk.

THE OCEANS ARE LESS EXPLORED THAN THE MOON
There's been 12 people on the moon, and lets say a couple dozen probes. I've been to the beach more than a dozen times. I've watched the snails, seagulls, and tidal pools . I've brought home a few rocks, shells, and the odd piece of driftwood. I've taken 100s of photos. And I'm just some regular jackass--There's been thousand of scientists dedicate their lives to the oceans. There's been countless millions of others that have been around and in the oceans. Take the Titanic movie for example. They sent down some submarines to shoot some video just for the movie! No one sent a spaceship to the moon to film Apollo 13. They didn't even fire up a probe for it.

KANSAS CITY IS IN SOME STATE THAT ISN'T KANSAS
I hear this one a lot, but refuse to believe it. And I don't want to see any crazy voodoo map that "proves" it either. Kansas City is in Kansas. The city has the name of the state in it. Why would it be in another state? It doesn't make any sense to me, and I wish people would quit saying it.