generiCtrenD.com - publiC bathrooM ruleS anD observationS

PUBLIC BATHROOM RULES AND OVSERVATIONS

Public bathrooms come in all shapes and sizes. I've put in quite a lot of OT (observation time) checking out the way they work. In men's restrooms mostly. I've spent much less time in women's restrooms, so I don't know a whole lot about them. Women can fill in their own lines about sanitary dispensers or hovering. Below I've listed some comments and suggestions about public restrooms (remember--mostly pertaining to men's restrooms, but some items apply to all restrooms).

-Why is there always a puddle of piss in front of the urinal? This is bad enough if you're wearing shoes, but if you've got some flip-flops or sandals on you're splashing through puddles just like Gene Kelly. Except there's no singing and its not rain--its other people's urine splashing on you. So even if you have just put together a new musical I don't think you'll be happy about it.

-Why jam 1200 paper towels into a 1000 paper towel holder? When you try to pull out a towel or two you always end up with a brick of 15. You can't dry you're hands with the paper brick AND you're helping to kill the environment just a little more.

-How about some background noise in the bathroom? Because NO ONE wants to hear any bodily solids exiting someone else's body.

-No talking please. You do your business. I'll do mine. Let's save the idle chit chat for outside the bathroom when neither of us is holding our dicks in our hands.

-The dance after using the urinal? And not just a shake or two, that's fine. Nobody wants that cold wet spot in the underwear. I'm talking about the hop and wiggle dance. I don't get it, but I wish it would go away.

-Stop abusing the soap dispenser. Some people have to slam the soap dispenser down a few times and violently / quickly wash their hands. Are you in a giant hurry? Taking out your frustrations on the poor helpless bathroom fixtures? Calm down and wash your hands like everyone else.

-Urinals full and moving to the stalls? Close the door. I know there's no door on a urinal, but there is on a stall. It's a little odd to see inside a stall with someone there.

-What's up with dudes putting both hands on their hips when they pee? Is it some sort of superman thing? Are they laughing as Giant Urine Spewing Man rains down salty death upon the inhabitants of urinal cake town? I'm not sure. Either way I'd care to not see it in the bathroom.