HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY

construction professionals weigh in

A group of people involved in the design and construction of a new building are at bar one Friday when someone poses the proverbial question of whether the glass of beer is half full or half empty.

The structural engineer

looks around nervously, then pulls out a calculator and begins punching in numbers while mumbling to himself.

The interior decorator

says it would look much better if a shot glass was placed next to it to create a visual interest.

The lighting consultant

says An MX-957-J housing would reduce glare and provide a more even light distribution while reducing lumen output and wattage demand.

The architectural co-op

surprised to be asked anything, thinks quickly and responds “Corbu, primitive hut, golden section?, shit no, I DON'T KNOW, I think I was asleep that day,” and sensing his moment is quickly fading, but not realizing everyone has stopped listening blurts out “I don't know, maybe, I would say FULL!, but it's pretty close, no maybe, HALFWAY, yeah?” SHIT, the co-op thinks, I blew it, but everyone else seems not to have noticed or even heard the co-op, as usual.

The academic architect

begins his answer with a quote from Plato, then discusses the implications the carrying vessel had on 17th century European colonialism. . .

As everyone begins to tune out the academic architect,

the practicing architect

quickly puts together the fee for the portion of the beer already consumed and an estimate for the consumption of the remainder.

The contractor

thinks to himself Dumbasses, always trying to outthink shit. I'll fix this, picks up the glass and drinks it all, then says “well, it's empty now.”