STUCK IN A RUT

I'm tired, a little hungry. I haven't slept with a woman but once in fourteen months (and that was a sloppy unsatisfying night with a friend). I don't remember the last time I read a book or saw a movie that inspired me. Most of my conversations with coworkers are about television commercials.

I have holes in my socks

I'm through with getting up too early to go to a job I care about too little. I'm tired of surviving the day with endless mugs of coffee and gas station food. I've had my fill of traffic, waiting in lines, and putting on a tie every single damn morning. Everyday is like the previous.

I'M IN A RUT!

Why? I have asked myself at length. For the family? No - for the kids? I'm not sure anymore. I'm not in love with my wife. We are more like allies in the war on life - as opposed to two young people who thought the world full of possibilities. A little too old, much too cynical, to be those people anymore. We haven't grown together as we've gotten older - and we both know it. I usually fall asleep on the couch watching awful movies.

I don't sleep well.

Am I afraid of change? It's not easy - changing. I've found it very easy just to go along with the crowd - I find it to be not uncomfortable. I just take whatever life has to give me - good or bad. Of late everything seems to have become one giant shrug of my shoulders. A collective, "ehh..."

This is may be the point where I ask for personal stories or inspirational quotes. Where I implore one of you reading this to kick me in the butt so I can get my life back together.

Or not. It could just be the point where I make another passionate, but pointless, declaration to myself. Another empty promise that I'll change things.

Maybe it doesn't matter either way.